To answer: Leave a comment below, and number your answers according to the questions. Keep them simple, OR EVEN BETTER, ELABORATE! You can agree or disagree with others, and be sure to check back to see how others respond to yours!!!
1-If you cheat on someone you love and you regret it, knowing you will never do it again, should you tell the person you love, or should you keep it a secret for the rest of your life?
2-Can you be in love with more than one person at one time?
3-Should you tell the person you love how many sexual partners you have had and is it okay to share with them your sexual adventures?
3-Should you tell the person you love how many sexual partners you have had and is it okay to share with them your sexual adventures?
4-Is it possible to forgive and forget, and have a healthy relationship, after someone cheats? (If so, what is needed to make it work, and how long will it take to trust again?)
(please post your age, and whether you are male or female)
Female: age 24,
ReplyDelete1-If you know you will NEVER cheat again then NO you shouldn't tell him. It wont do only good, just bad. What is the point? to get something off your own chest so you feel better? All you are going to do is hurt him. He will never trust you again, he will never be able to forget it, he will wonder about the other guy. In this case, IGNORANCE IS BLISS. But also may I add SHAME ON ANYONE WHO CHEATS! We are ment to be monogamous creatures, if we weren't, then why does cheating hurt so much?
2- Yes, it makes things complicated but you can be in love with more than one person at one time.
3-You should tell your partner how many people you have been with for his own safty/health precautions, but you shouldn't talk about your sex life with them. It might be fun and sexy at the time to talk about your threesome or public sex or crazy positions etc, but trust me, it will always sooner or later bite you in the ass!
4-I would NEVER forgive my boyfriend if he cheated. For me it's not possible. But for some reason, many of my friends have been able too!
I am a 38 year old male. My answers are as follows:
ReplyDelete#1. I believe that no relationship will last with a foundation built on dishonesty. It all depends on the circumstances as to whether or not it will work, but you should always tell your partner if you have cheated.
#2.I think that being in love with more than one person is just wrong. To be in love is so much more than just loving someone. I feel that you have to give a lot of yourself to someone you are in love with and that is something that is not possible with someone unless you are spending quality time with this person. And that shouldn't be happening if you are in a commited relationship.
#3. If they ask and truly want to know, you should definitely tell them. Just don't elaborate, or tell stories as if they are something that you still think about.
#4. It is possible. Personally I don't know if I could forgive and forget because I have never been put in that situation. Depending on the circumstance again I think there are definite situations that can be forgiven.
1- I believe in 100% honesty. so i would tell.
ReplyDelete2- no. i believe when you truly love someone you will not love another person. if is just the in love thing then yes. b/c theres a difference between real love & being in love.
3-i dont know some people are not comfortable knowing that stuff. & i kind of think its ok to not tell how many partners if your not comfortable with it. but i would prefer to know everything about my bf's past relationships. I like to know the adventures just b/c it tells alot about a person.
4-I dont think so. I know if my b/f cheated (weve been together 4 yrs) if he cheated i wouldnt be able to look past that. Its too much hurt & when u dont tust some1 then it begins to turn into more pain 4 you after a situation like that. also I believe that if you truly love someone u will not desire cheating. maybe after some time then maybe when your healed it could possibly work out. but alot of times turns into an obession of constant worry & pain & some times resentment. so most of the time its best to move on. well great job on this! i really enjyed this post. keep up the good work!
32 yr. old female.
ReplyDelete1. How do you know you will never do it again? If you are capable of cheating on that person at all then you are capable of doing it again. If someone cheats then it wasn't a good relationship in the first place. The best thing is to get out of the relationship and don't tell the person because it will just hurt them.
2. Of course you can love more than one person at a time...but it isn't true love! If you truly are in love with someone then another person does not even enter your mind.
3. If the subject comes up in conversation and if you and your partner can handle this type of honesty then go ahead, air your dirty laundry...but I certainly wouldn't make it a point to talk about it, especially if the relationship is in it's infancy.
4. Trust and security is gone after that point, and can NEVER be recovered...no matter what anyone says. It is possible to have a relationship, yes, but once that trust has been compromised the relationship will never be the same. There will always be doubts...so, in my opinion, the relationship will never truly be "healthy" and "happy" again.
1. I don't know as I wouldn't cheat, and I haven't either. But if you are not honest you have nothing.. Integrity is what people lack and just because someone else will never know doesn't make it right. YOU will know and that should be THE most important reason!
ReplyDelete2. YES, you can be in love with more than one person at a time.. but it doesn't mean you have to act on it. There is NO one "Mr. or Mrs. Right" for any of us, but there is only the honor and duty of BEING with one person. Discipline and work makes relationships last.
3. If it is important for your partner to know be truthful and tasteful. I don't think details are necessary. But I don't think the number of partners is important especially if you are old!!!
4. This happened to me, where my husband at the time had an affair and a child was produced from that affair.... we were divorced and it was very painful.. very, very painful. We had two sons together before that. Nine years later we are friends now.. So, No, the relationship is always changed and different. You will always have that small doubt and distrust and that is sad.
Sylvia Miera 53 year old female
1 = Without question, you must tell the person. (The truth always comes out its just a matter of when.)
ReplyDelete2 = Love is a word used too often and with too little true value given to it.
3= No, and NO. The past is what makes us the person we are today. Thats both possitive and negitive. Leave the negitive in the past. (Most do not see past sexual partners as a positive)
4= BIG NO. You are not ready for the type of person able to forgive you and they deserve far more a person than what you have shown yourself to be.
Well I asked the questions so here are my own answers:
ReplyDelete1-I always thought in a situation like that that yes "ignorance is bliss" and if I regreted it and knew I wouldn't do it again that it would only hurt the person to tell them; nothing good could come of it, and so I would take it to my grave. But then I think, if it happened to me I would want to be given the chance to make the decision on whether or not I would stay or leave the person. My decision without a doubt would be to leave them (answer to question 4).
2-Can a person be in-love with more than one person? I used to think no way... But I have learned through experience that yes you can but you should never act on it.
3-I don't think the number of people is important but rather you can provide the person you are seeing with an actual bill of clean health. As far as sexual adventures goes, don't EVER share those with your partner...What is the point? I can tell from my own experience that it only puts images in the other's head that they don't want to see!
1-If you know you will never do it again, keep your mouth shut.
ReplyDelete2-Can you be in love with more than one person at one time? No, if you are, it's not true love.
3-No way. This always intimidates men if you have had more partners than they have had. If you are concerned about your partner's sexual activity before you get tested.
4-I think it is possible. Unfortunately not for me. LOL
42 Female
Yes to all of the above. It is not love if it is not honest. Wait until you are asked but never avoid open questions from your partner. And don't harp on it either way. Everyone has done something in their life that they would not love in another person. We don't get to pick and choose the things we love about our partners, we love all of them. And to 24 female at the top, we're actually not meant to be monogamous. I don't condone cheating either, but get your facts straight. 25 Female
ReplyDelete1.i won't tell.this is not dishonesty.but this is a one way to keep the relationship healthier.
ReplyDelete2.could be.i have felt something for two peoples at same time.but couldn,t realise whether it is love or what
3.i won't share.but they could share it with me
4.yes it is possible.but its not gonna be the 100% same as earlier.i could forgive and forget as i love that person